Loyalty, Love and Self-Knowledge (in your twenties) – what Carrie Bell discovers

ImageI love that my mother passes on her novels to me — most of the books she’s read usually becomes one of my favorites, or I find books to read that are similar (which are mainly about fictional stories with real life and death experiences). Ann Packer’s The Dive From Clausen’s Pier is definitely one of those books that will take up a space in my heart, since I could relate with some of the feelings. It made me realize that you eventually have to accept who you are, and sometimes an escape can help discover those findings, as well as realizing who you really owe your love to. Carrie Bell, the 23 year-old fashion junkie from Madison, Wisconsin discovers how and whom she needs to love, as well as her own identity, throughout her journey.

Carrie and her 23 year-old boyfriend Mike Mayer have been together for eight years, but things seem rocky to begin with when the story starts. On Memorial Day, Carrie and Mike meet up with their friends at Clausen’s Reservoir: Rooster, Mike’s best friend; Jamie, Carrie’s best friend; Christine and her boyfriend Bill, along with another friend named Stu. Everyone here is enjoying life post-college, and Carrie still remains working at Wisconsin University’s library.

Carrie, however, is in a mood; she’s distant from the group, especially with Mike. Jamie notices that her best friend isn’t acting like herself, but Carrie claims that she’s fine. To encourage some fun, Rooster and Stu dare Mike to dive. Mike playfully questions his friends whether he should do it or not, and all cheer him on to do so. But little did Mike and Carrie’s friend knew that the water levels were still a bit low for swimming season — Mike dives, and then ends up in Intensive Care with a broken neck and paralyzed from the arms down, in a coma.

Carrie tries to retrace her love that she once had for Mike, but it becomes difficult: she doesn’t cry until about four weeks later, when Mike finally wakes up. At this point, Mike is diagnosed as quadriplegic and forever spends his life in a wheelchair. Carrie finds it difficult to visit Mike in rehab more and more as the weeks go by; her mother, Mrs. Bell, Rooster and Jamie notice that her interest in Mike is suddenly falling, regardless of his condition.

During a dinner with one of Carrie’s co-workers named Viktor, she meets his alluring friend whom is visiting named Kilroy, a native from New York City. Kilroy shows his interest in Carrie, but he had already sensed that she’s involved in a serious relationship. Although Kilroy tries to impress Carrie with his pool skills, it would not be the last night they see each other ever again.

Carrie happens to reconnect with a high school classmate named Simon, who’s also visiting from New York City. Carrie notices something different about Simon, and he tells her he’s openly gay and studying art and theatre at The Big Apple. Carrie suddenly feels comforted by Simon, and opens up to him about her pressuring feelings about Mike; she doesn’t think she’s in love with him anymore, but she can’t manage to take off the engagement ring he gave her.

In order to escape the confusion and guilt, Carrie travels to New York City to live with Simon, without saying goodbye to anyone in Madison. Two days before Carrie’s adventure, she spots Jamie’s teen sister, Lynn, waiting for a man outside a sketchy area of town, whom she met while waitressing at a restaurant she works at. Wearing a short skirt with teased hair and heavy eyeliner, Lynn begs Carrie not to say a word about it to Jamie. Carrie keeps her promise, but later in the story the reader will find out that keeping that promise was never worth it…

Carrie then has the desire to find Kilroy; she finds him at a bar called McClanahan’s that he constantly talked about. The two get to know each other more, and end up having a night of romance back at Kilroy’s apartment. The next morning, Kilroy finally tells Carrie is age: FORTY. But that never scared Carrie away; it only it brought her closer to him and she eventually forgot about her friends and family back in Madison, even though Kilroy keeps many secrets from her. It takes a few discoveries to find the answers to Kilroy’s secrets, and it takes one phone call from a friend, a cry for help, to challenge Carrie on what she intends to do next – who really deserves her love?

My Evaluation: 

I would love to summarize the whole book for you if I could, but that would be unfair since this is a review. In 42 chapters, Packer bulks many themes, scenes and conflicts in an entertaining and descriptive manner. It’s a juicy book, and because there’s so many characters involved, I wondered if a reader of this novel attempted to write fan fictional stories of them, like what their side of the story is while Carrie was gone.

I found this novel to be overwhelmingly peaceful, fucked up, and somber. There were times I wish I could’ve just teleported my fist through the pages to punch Carrie in the face. Carrie isn’t known to be a very likable character because of the grief she causes among friends, families, lovers and herself. She’s selfish and in her twenties and fucking confused. She stopped loving Mike sometime way before the accident, and him becoming paralyzed might’ve been her cue. However, I can’t exactly hate her either; like Rooster and Jamie say to her, “I’m mad at you, but I understand how you feel”.

I think in your twenties it’s incredibly hard to be in love for such a long period of time – you’re discovering who you are and what you want still, and how to love. I only know this because I’m still experiencing it with numerous situations.

It’s a great read — actually, I found it quite comforting because I think anybody could relate to a few of the themes in the novel (although you’ll never admit it).

4/5 Stars

My Edition: 

The Dive From Clausen’s Pier is published by Alfred A. Knopf, New York, April 16, 2002

ISBN 0375412824 (hardcover with jacket)

$24 when first published, about $13 on Amazon.com as of 2013.

LIFETIME MOVIE COMPARISON (iTunes and Amazon, $3.99 to buy – rent n/a)

***SPOILERS!*** Read at your own risk (if you haven’t read the book). 

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I guess the old saying is that movies based on books never follow the actual book, and I was pretty hurt to have my eyes open to that by this Lifetime movie.

To start on positive notes, this movie really brought the characters alive. Michelle Trachtenburg (Harriet the Spy) plays an awesome Carrie, and Will Estes (The Dark Night Rises) is a great role for Mike. The acting was well for an hour and a half movie, but the directors REALLY twisted up the plot — I mean, REALLY fucked with it. They try to make Carrie appear to be less extreme with her decisions, and Kilroy as a sweeter guy. They pulled it off well, but because I liked this book so much, I took note of the obvious – I found of these changes either really good or stupid. But then again, how could you fit so many details in an hour from 42 chapters?!:

  • Julie Mayer, Mike’s little sister doesn’t exist. John Junior, Mike’s youngest sibling, only has one or two cameo shots. Miss Wolf only had a single cameo shot as well. Her death and significance were not present in the film.
  • Other missing characters: Lynn, Mixie, Alice, Bill, Harvey, Dave King, Ania, Maura and Jeff.
  • She’s Carrie Beal, not Carrie Bell.
  • Carrie cries after the accident – in the book, she doesn’t cry until Mike wakes from his coma.
  • After Mike’s accident, he rudely asks Nurse Joan to change the channel. In the book, that’s his rehab roommate Jeff’s job.
  • Kilroy tells Carrie that he’s 35 — in the book, he tells her he’s 40.
  • Dillion, Simon’s love interest, is African American. In the book, he’s described as snotty and blonde (nothing is wrong with this, however. After watching the movie, I realized the lack of diversity in Packer’s novel – I like how Dillion’s black instead).
  • Nurse Joan is described tall and blonde as well. In the movie, she’s played by Raquel Duffy.
  • When Kilroy tells Carrie that she’s “barking up the wrong tree”, he lets her walk out. In the book: before she walks out, he asks her to go to dinner with him.
  • Since there’s no Lynn in the movie, Rooster calls Carrie in the beginning of December updating her that Jamie’s mother is in rehab again (this part comes MUCH later in the book). Although he notifies that he’s marrying Joan, he doesn’t state when the wedding will be — he just asks Carrie to come home for Christmas, which she does not.
  • She cancels her flight the day before the holidays after a steamy, sexy night with Kilroy – in the book, Kilroy convinces Carrie to stay to take her to a park in NYC.
  • Instead of giving her a picture he took from France, Kilroy gives Carrie a sketchbook for Christmas as a diary to keep her fashion ideas and collections.
  • Kilroy and Carrie don’t share that mysterious moment on top of the Empire State building (that means Maura never existed, either).
  • Kilroy never receives a letter from his parents, it’s a single phone call instead. During Carrie’s celebration with Kilroy, Simon and Lane of starting fashion school, Kilroy pulls Carrie to the side and tells her he must visit his parents. Carrie convinces him to invite her. IN THE BOOK. . . Kilroy receives a letter from his parents about the mysterious date and Carrie sneaks into his coat pocket to read it (while he’s at work). She still convinces him to take her, but the day before they go, they go on a trip outside of New York for the night.
  • Rooster’s wedding takes place in the spring season. After Carrie’s argument with Kilroy, she leaves to go to the wedding. She never gets a call from Jamie, although Jamie shows that she is angry at her. IN THE BOOK. . . Rooster invited Carrie to the wedding three days before Christmas and she bailed. Carrie only returned to Madison to revive the friendship with Jamie.
  • Jamie forgives Carrie right away. IN THE BOOK, Jamie is much harder and colder – it takes days for Carrie to get Jamie to talk to her again.
  • Stu is still around. IN THE BOOK, Rooster tells Carrie that Stu was embarrassed by Mike because he’s handicapped.
  • Rooster’s wedding takes place at the Mayers’ home. IN THE BOOK. . . lol, this never happened. I think they needed to skip the first two weeks of Carrie’s return and they smashed it into one…whole…event. Haha.
  • Kilroy flies to Madison to win back Carrie. IN THE BOOK, Kilroy keeps in contact with Carrie until she loses interest in calling him. Weeks later, her fancy Bernina sewing machine is mailed to her from Kilroy…that’s when she finally calls him back and discovers more about his life.
  • Kilroy admits to Carrie that his frustration is built upon the death of his brother, Thomas Michael Fraser. He tells Carrie that he died in an accident. OHHH BUT WAIT A MINUTE…IN THE BOOK, Kilroy and Carrie are discussing this over the phone. Kilroy’s brother is just named “Mike” and his cause of death was leukemia (why did they have the need to screw the climax up?)
  • Kilroy begs Carrie to start over and to come back with him to NYC. Carrie peacefully, with a kiss, breaks up with him and tells him she’s staying in Madison. IN THE BOOK, Kilroy tells Carrie how much she’s destroyed him by not returning and ends the relationship over the phone.

My final words: the movie is fun to watch, but the book is better.

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A Novel in the Works

COVER LOL

This is what I’ve been doing instead of blogging. Haha.

I submitted this story into the Fictional class I really wanted to take, but I’ve submitted it too late (not past the due date, though). It was kind of a first come, first serve deal, and I took too much luxury of the time to make it perfect as possible. However, I did get into the class — I just have to wait for some bastard to drop it.

Anyways, if you’d like to read it, I posted it on Figment.com. It’s a little short because I could only limit myself to 15 pages for the application (this was very hard to obey, believe it or not!). I haven’t got too many views or reviews, and I’m starting to think that this website isn’t the best place to have my fiction read (I think the site might be a little too young for me). But feel free to email me suggestions and edits, it’s much appreciated – mmolly@charter.net.

So I hope to finish this book up in a year or two, I have it all down in my head. After going through edits of draft after draft, I might just sell it online as an ebook through Lulu. But I’m thinking too far ahead of things, so don’t take my word on that.

Here’s my summary thus far. The title of the novel is going to make much more sense when I complete the novel (the only people who know how it’s going to end is the fictional writing professor, my best friend and my mother):

Maxine Martin isn’t your average 17-year-old — she’s actually a mortician at her family’s funeral home in a small town of Susanville, California. She enjoys primping corpses for funerals and pulling off their skin, and she’s easily entertained by how much it frightens people. However, Maxine is frustrated that there aren’t any guys that respect her for who she is, until she meets handsome and mysterious 22-year-old Jeremiah Haley.

Maxine falls deep for Jeremiah because he’s the first guy that doesn’t mind having her morgue hands all over him. But she’s too gullible to know that he’s hiding multiple secrets from her; he’s holding hostage of a 7-year-old girl, and could be a clue to his missing family. Maxine knows there’s something suspicious about Jeremiah, but decides to keep it to herself. But little does she know that danger is near, and it’s too late; in following week, Jeremiah and the child are missing.

It’s up to Maxine to find Jeremiah by herself. Throughout her journey, Maxine will realize that Jeremiah’s disappearance put her through many threatening impacts to her life, but she doesn’t give up. Maxine needs to make up for her foolishness of falling in love with a dangerous man, and she might have to commit a serious crime just to do so — with not a soul knowing.

Read a sample/preview here: http://figment.com/books/623962-Casket-Full-of-Lies-novel-preview-

The Next Chapter

It’s about time I experienced a semi-decent semester at the University of Nevada, Reno – I got to do some REAL journalism work, and I expanded my mind to classes that I hate and will never have to take again.

I got two perfect A’s in Nevada Media Alliance and Data journalism. My KNPB package I worked on with Stephanie turned out wonderfully – I even got an official copy of the episode on a special DVD. You can watch it online at the NVMA siteStephanie, the audio/video maven, narrated the episode as I interviewed our sources about all-day kindergarten in Nevada. I think we both kicked ass on writing the script as well.

Here’s a photo I took of when my team and I toured the KNPB station. On screen, you’ll see our episode getting ready to air! This was on April 19th:

NVMA is a permanent and new addition to the Donald W. Reynolds School of Journalism. I’m debating whether I want to do it again or not, and I’m thinking I’m should. I’m graduating in December and I would be taking about 18 credits if I joined again, and only 2 or 3 original members who reported on the legislature would return. The topic to report next semester is the reinventing or the rebirth of Reno’s economy. I discovered that covering this topic would benefit me in many ways:

I recently got hired as an intern at the Reno Gazette-Journal to report on their new blog called Reno Rebirth, which covers the recovery of the city’s economy and community. I’m incredibly excited because I’ve been wanting this internship for so long, and this blog allows VOICE in the reporting. I also get to expand my knowledge on Reno’s economy. I officially begin June 4th and I already have some decent story ideas down. Oh, and Brent Boynton, the news director of KNPB said that he would like me and the RGJ to contribute our Reno Rebirth work with KNPB! I’m kicking my feet up in the air as if I were a child who just found out that they’re going to Disneyland for the weekend; I’m so damn excited to be a part of this.

Rejoining NVMA for my next (and last) semester would be definitely beneficial for me because I would I know the subject by then, and I could continue reporting on it. Also, I would get my name out even more by the time I graduate. Gosh, I’m so spoiled!

So don’t worry, I will be linking my articles from Reno Rebirth on JOURNALISchick as well as sharing my experiences working at one of Reno’s greatest news desks. I have to write experiences anyway in order to receive three credits — but I don’t mind doing that regardless.

What else has happend? On May 7th, I received the Charles H. Stout Foundation scholarship. I forgot the amount (most scholarship recipients do), but what’s so special about this scholarship is that this foundation helped supported the NVMA to purchase the amazing media tools to make the team who we are today (and obviously, you’ve seen that we’re pretty damn amazing). Although this scholarship lasts for about a year and I have one semester left, I think I might use up the remaining scholarship to take some courses to get back into my old hobbies, if it gets difficult finding a job (drawing, choir, guitar, writing…).

My project about BLMNV and the mustangs for Data journalism came out okay, but not as good as I wanted. It’s a huge topic I’d like to investigate when the topic is hot again — you can click here to check out what I’ve gathered: http://mustangsofunrnv.wordpress.com/

Other than that, my remaining grades are okay – B+ in Women & Lit, B+ in Core Humanities, and I got very lucky with a C+ in Mircoeconomics (eff that class). But it definitely brought my GPA up higher. I’m also moving out of my apartment and moving into a secluded area away from crazy party animals (I’m such an old lady about this).

Before I go, check out the Reinventing Reno website UNR students put together with business journalist, Micki Maynard! I believe this is what the next group of NVMA would be reporting on. One of the writers even earned the Steven Martarano Best Published Article Award!

Up next: 2 book reviews and another update.